Grieving

Anger and fury can mask the all too painful truth that lies encrusted with icy numbness, and razor sharp  sarcasm.

A truth that at one time was so easily felt and expressed. A truth that was evident so many years ago and yet wasn't it just yesterday?

Last night I heard a song called "7 years."One of the lyrics said, "I was 7 once". It was about a boy going through different stages of life, and for the first time in over a year I felt past my anger and fury and I started to cry.

Funny how I thought I had cried myself dry, and for a time I had. I guess my pain was just in self imposed remission.

If I stayed angry I stayed strong. The only problem with that, is it doesn't allow you to grieve and feel the pain of love and loss.

It's difficult to love someone who has difficulty understanding and expressing genuine love. Even harder when they make dangerous and foolish choices.

So I grieve for the innocent childhood that is past, and the foolhardy and destructive choices of the present.

Familial love is definitely not for the faint of heart. I thank God for the ability to find strength through His love and hope for the future.



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